Special Reports - Tips For Your Children's Well-Being

Defeat The Bully Without Fighting!
A Parents Guide To Dealing With Bullies.


About This Program


At last, here’s a program that explains step by step how to teach your child essential life skills in a non-threatening manner. This program is simple to teach and has been proven to work for many families over the years. Each of our programs are updated with the very latest information. This program hits a bulls-eye by explaining in a simple format the benefits of personal safety including role playing and fun, effective exercises that the entire family can share together. Our programs put expert advice in your hands. From a child’s point of view, there is no better teacher than Mom and Dad. Read the information and explain it to your child,. Do the exercises together and review the information with your child periodically. Remember, try to keep things lighthearted and have fun teaching these important skills that will last a lifetime.


About Pham's Tae Kwon Do Academy


At Pham's Tae Kwon Do Academy, martial arts and character development work together. We use martial arts as a fun, exciting and practical vehicle to teach children and adults about the person they can be when they simply tap into their character. We acknowledge that our students and families are looking for a lot more than just kicking and punching these days. After all, when we exercise our minds as well as our bodies, we can achieve great things. That’s more powerful than any kick or punch!


For Additional Information:

call 239-369-PHAM (7426)
www.PhamsTKD.com

Learning About Bullies
Who Are The Bullies?

-Bullies look like everyone else.
-Anyone can be a bully; a boy, a girl or a group of people.
-A bully can also be an adult.
-At times, we all act like a bullies.


Why Do Bullies Act Like They Do?

-They probably have been bullied themselves.
-Their parents or other adults may be cruel to them.
-They don’t like themselves and take their anger out on others.
-Bullying makes them feel more powerful.


What do bullies do to others?

-Make fun of others
-Call others names
-Pick fights
-Steal lunches, money or other items
-Push others around either verbally or physically


Six Smart Ways To Be A Bully Buster!


1. Ignore The Bully--Listen to the threats but don’t react. Tell yourself that
you don’t have to get back at the bully. Ignore the threats.
2. Agree With The Bully--If the bully calls you names, agree! Let the insults go
and don’t fight back.
3. Be Nice To the Bully--Treat the bully as a friend instead as an enemy. You
can turn a threatening situation into a friendly one.
4. Walk Away--Don’t get into it; just walk away. This takes the wind out of the
bully’s sails.
5. Refuse To Fight--The winner of a fight is the one who prevents it. Stick up
for yourself. Just say no to fighting.
6. Call For Help--Call a teacher, a trusted adult, a police officer or anyone who
can help you stop a fight before it starts.

Bully Safety For Kids


Exercise One - Assertive Body Language (confidence)

-Stand up straight with feet apart, balanced and stable.
-Take quick regular steps.
-Keep your head up.
- Don’t “hunch” shoulders up because you will appear tense.
- Make eye contact when spoken to.
- Look in the direction of your destination.
Have your children walk from point “A” to point “B” in a confident manner.
Coach them along their way.


Exercise Two - Anger Management
Explain to your children that they will feel defeated and angry when confronted by a bully. You must learn to recognize the anger; take control of the anger and let it go. Start yelling “Oh yeah!” waiting for your children to respond “Oh yeah!” After the yelling gets loud enough (usually three times) have your children take a deep breath and say to themselves “I am in control of my anger.”


Exercise Three - Build A Barrier. Deliver A Message. Take Action!

Ask your children “What part of your bodies is the best weapon for defense?” Wait for a few responses. Explain that, if we choose to fight, we may get in Trouble and hurt someone or ourselves. Using our brains to avoid conflicts is much better than fighting.
- Build a barrier by putting your open hands up in front of you and shouting “Get back!”
- Deliver the message you are trying to get across by shouting “Leave me alone!”
- Take action by slapping your hands together while turning away and say “I need a
cool down!”


Exercise Four - Bully Groups (Peer Pressure)
Have your child walk past a “bully group (Mom, Dad, siblings)” who beckons the student to join the group or shouts verbal commands “Hey get over here! Got any money? What’s for lunch?”
- Build a barrier by putting your open hands up in front of you.
- Deliver the message you are trying to get across by shouting “It’s OK; that’s
alright!”
- Take action by continuing to move away from the group.


Exercise Five - Bully Blocking
If you have no other alternative, you must protect yourself! Protecting yourself means using defensive techniques to avoid a fight without injury to yourself or your opponent.
1. Get into a self defense stance.
2. Use defensive blocking techniques.
3. Run away as soon as possible.
4. Tell a trusted adult.
Self Defense Stance - Place your left leg forward feet shoulder width apart at
a 45 degree angle. Raise your hands in front of you with open palms forward.
Place your right leg forward if you are left handed. It’s easy to block from this
stance and it appears non-threatening.


Eight Way Bully Blocking
Starting Position-Hands at eye level with open palms and left foot forward.
1. Move left hand down with palm facing out-blocks a kick.
2. Move right hand down with palm facing out-blocks a kick.
3. Move left palm across your chest-blocks a body punch.
4. Move right palm across your chest-blocks a body punch.
5. Move left elbow upward covering left ear-blocks a head punch.
6. Move right elbow upward covering right ear-blocks a head punch.
7. Move left knee up and bring elbows and wrists together-blocks wild swinging.
8. Move right knee up and bring elbows and wrists together-blocks wild swinging.
Practice the blocks in order by calling out the numbers and demonstrating the blocks until your children can perform the drill without assistance. Extending a swimming noodle cut in half, imitate the strikes and have your children block them in numerical order. Increase your striking speed as they become proficient. You may consider doing this drill out of sequence.


Note: Kids love this drill and it will leave them anticipating the next session with
enthusiasm. Remember that the goal of practicing these skills is to build confidence and
competence. Look for progress, not perfection.


Exercise Six - Tattling Vs. Telling
Explain the difference between tattling and telling. Tattling is done to get someone in trouble. Telling is to prevent a bad thing from happening or from happening again.
Examples:
-If you saw your neighbor’s 4 year old child playing in the street by himself and
you told his mother, would that be tattling or telling? (telling)
-If your friend won’t share toys with you and you told your parents, is that
tattling or telling? (tattling)
-If your friend takes your toy home with him and you told your parents, is that
tattling or telling? (telling)
-If someone teases you everyday at school and you told the teacher, is that
tattling or telling? (telling)
-If someone takes your lunch and you tell the teacher, is that tattling or
telling? (telling)
-If someone sticks their tongue out at you, is that tattling or telling? (tattling)


Exercise Seven - Bully Box
Mark a box with “Bully Box” clearly displayed on all four sides and a slit on the top. Take the “Bully Box” to school and ask permission to place it in an area easily accessed by students (i.e. administration office). Students are encouraged to write the name of anyone who bullies them with a brief explanation of the incident, the date and deposit it in the “Bully Box”. If a child’s name appears as a bully three times, he or she will be questioned.

Home Practice
Parents - here is your “Home Practice Assignment” to reinforce How To
Defeat A Bully Without Fighting. Please review these concepts with your
children. These concepts are valid for adults, too.


Five Smart Ways Kids Can Stop Bullying!

1. Don’t join in - Have the courage to let the bully know that you don’t think it is “cool” to bully someone.
2. Don’t be a spectator - Bullies like to perform. Without an audience to perform for, they are less likely to continue. Speak out when you see someone being bullied. Make it clear that you don’t approve. Here’s some good examples, “Leave him alone!” “Stop hitting her!” “Don’t call him that name.” “I’m going to tell the teacher right now!
3. Stand up for the person being bullied - Lead him or her away from the scene and invite the person to be friends with your group.
4. Report any bullying as soon as possible - Know the difference between Telling” (which is done to prevent a bad thing from happening) and Tattling” (which is usually done just to get someone else in trouble).
5. Make an effort to include students who are left out - Bullies often look for loners” who don’t have friends. Sometimes a friendly word or a kind gesture can be important to someone who seldom receives kindness.


Six Smart Ways To Be A Bully Buster!
1. Ignore The Bully--Listen to the threats but don’t react. Tell yourself that you don’t have to get back at the bully. Ignore the threats.
2. Agree With The Bully--If the bully calls you names, agree! Let the insults go and don’t fight back.
3. Be Nice To the Bully--Treat the bully as a friend instead of an enemy. You can turn a threatening situation into a friendly one.
4. Walk Away--Don’t get into it; just walk away. This takes the wind out of the bully’s sails.
5. Refuse To Fight--The winner of a fight is the one who prevents it. Stick up for ourself. Just say no to fighting.
6. Call For Help--Call a teacher, a trusted adult, a police officer or anyone who can help you stop a fight before it starts.

Home Practice
Four Basics Of Assertive Body Language:
1. Stand up straight. Stand with your feet slightly apart so you feel balanced and stable.
2. Keep your head up.
3. Don’t hunch your shoulders up because you will appear tense.
4. Look people in the eye, not over their heads, not at the ground—right in the eye.
Build A Barrier, Deliver A Message, Take Action!


Ask your child “What part of your body is the best weapon for defense?” Wait
for a few responses. Explain that if we choose to fight we may get in trouble, and hurt someone or ourselves. Using your brain to avoid conflicts is much better than fighting.


-Build a barrier by putting your hands open in front of you and shouting “Get
back!”
-Deliver the message you are trying to get across by shouting, “Leave me alone!”
-Take action by slapping your hands together while turning away and say, “I need a cool down!”
Please take the Bullying Quiz next. This is for your own benefit. Some of
the answers may surprise you!

Bully Quiz
In order to help your kids handle a run-in with neighborhood bullies, it is important to understand who bully’s, and why. Take this quiz on sizing up bullies -- the answers might surprise you.
1. It is tattling to tell a teacher about a bully’s actions.
True False
2. Bullies have low self-esteem, which is why they pick on other people.
True False
3. Only boys are bullies.
True False
4. The best way to handle a bully is by getting even or by fighting back.
True False.

Answers
1. If you ignore them, bullies will go away.
False.

Bullying is serious and teachers should know about their actions.


2. Bullies have low self-esteem, which is why they pick on other
people.
True.

Bullies tend to have low self-esteem. Compared to other children, they suffer from anxiety and insecurity. They don’t like themselves and take their anger out on others.


3. Only boys are bullies.
False.

Girls are nearly as likely as boys to bully. But girl bullies are less likely to be physically aggressive, and instead will bully through verbal harassment, exclusion from activities, name-calling, starting rumors, etc.


4. The best way to handle a bully is by getting even or by fighting back.

False.

Sometimes bullying is a life-or-death situation. If you try to get even with a bully or defend yourself using physical force or a weapon, things will only get worse. Bullies who feel cornered or provoked are likely to come after you again. If a weapon is involved, you might be the one who ends up getting hurt.

Call Pham's Tae Kwon Do Today!

(239) 369-PHAM (7426)

 

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